Men:
1) 94% of men lie about their penis size.
According to condom
manufacturers, only 6% of
men use extra large condoms.

2) The average man is 5 inches long when erect
(no matter what you have
heard ladies, that's the
truth).

3) 80% of American men are circumsized. Even
though Pediatrics say it is
not necessary.

4) No matter what all the ads say, nothing can
make your penis grow but
time (most men reach
the end of their growth by the early 20's)

5) There is no correlation between penis size and
shoe size, hand size, or
nose size.

6) Blue balls does exist! It's technically
called "prostatic
congestion."

7) Only 16% of men shave their privates.

+Some stuff on the ladies+
------------------------------

1) Only 9% of women around the globe consider
themselves "attractive" (20%
of British women
do).
43% of women use the term "natural", 24% say
they
have "average" looks, 8% prefer the
term "feminine", 7% say they are "good
looking",
and 7% say they are "cute", and finally only 2% of
women say
they are "sexy".

2) An estimated 85% of women wear the wrong
size bra.
3) 60% of women
have had breast implants.
4) 75% of women dont like oral sex
5) 95% of
women shave their privates.

+Both+
--------------------------------
1) Masturbation is healthy for
both men and
women.

2) 70% of highschoolers have had sex before
they have graduated. 27% loose
their virginity senior
prom night. Only 3% wait until marriage.

3) 95% of men would have sex with a girl after 1
month of dating. Only 10%
of women feel this way.

+5 Reasons Why Sex is
Good+
---------------------------------------------
1) It is a good
workout. Sex burns about 150
calories every half an hour of it. It will lower
your
cholesterol and improve breathing circulation.

2) You won't get sick. According to research if
you have sex 1-2 times a
week you are less likely to
get sick.

3) You'll feel happier. You will feel a greater sense
of well-being. Women
who have more sex were
clinically proven to be less depressed than
women
who dont have sex.

4) Makes you look better - [ problem is, ugly people
don`t get any ]. Sex
releases hormones in you which make your skin and hair softer and shinier and
tone your physique.

5) (The best reason) You will live longer. Studies
prove that sex makes
you live longer. Men who
had sex 1-2 times a week had half the death
rate
as those who did not indulge themselves at least
once a month. It
also makes you look younger. If
you have sex 3 times a week you may look up
to
10 years younger than you really are.

Did You Know?
----------------------------------------
1) Having sex 3
times a week for 1 year adds up
to running 75 miles!!!!

If you don't post this then you will have bad sex
for 7 years (who wants
that?)

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps
themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST
FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting
next to you sayin "DAMN!" we fucked up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else
you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down
anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on
speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST
FRIENDS: Loses your shit and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a
very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is
doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and
say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already
know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking
buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think
you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the
place & say "Bitch drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

"I Owe My Mother"

I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to
kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of
the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and
break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in
case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to
cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and
eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt
on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that
spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a
tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told
you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this
world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like
your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate
children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get
home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when
you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your
eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know
when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,
don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your
vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do
you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll
understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll
have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"